Burnout
It happened. I have the stay-at-home-mother burnout. My kids are totally amazing and as well-behaved as toddlers could possibly be. It's not their fault. It's just that I get tired of doing and saying the same things every single day. I miss my old job. At least that came with a little more variety. And there were nice benefits like, you know, a paycheck and the occasional mid-day outing to acquire falafel sandwiches. A good falafel sandwich goes a long way.
How does one cure burnout? I mean, the obvious answers are "nanny" or "daycare." But let's just say the mother in question has no money with which to pay such people. Then what?
Maybe the question I should be asking is exactly how long I can stretch out nap time before the Fabertids stage a coup?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
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Lots of evenings out with friends- or "days off" (hours off) when you can get out during the day. It's the only thing that makes me feel "me" again. I work 1/2 now- but I have summers off- and even then- I get to the burnout feeling...
So nice to see someone say the words I feel!! Makes me feel better about feeling it.
Don't have answers to make it better, just find myself mentally projecting forward to imagine the time when it's easier. That, and today I had 4 hrs of daycare, which, after drop off and pick up time, gave me a whopping 3.5 hrs to work. But at the end of that time, remarkably, I was excited and happy to see baby again, and my balance was restored.
Don't underestimate the difference just a couple hours off could make, and I hope you can figure out a way of getting it!
I can't really afford the care, but I have too, for my sanity
I'd recommend scheduling one night a week for yourself -- something free, like a stitch-n-bitch, or a book club, or even just going to the library or a coffeeshop to read. Something that is all you, and maybe something with adult conversation. Even for a few hours. It really does rejuvenate you.
Also, does your community/town/city/municipality offer courses you can take the kids to? Our city has all sorts of preschooler programs, and they are cheap. Swimming is less than 60 bucks CDN for a 10 week session, free swims at the rec centre are 2 bucks for adults and free for the preschoolers, and a 12 week session of 1.5 hours per week of gym time and crafts and circle time was about a hundred bucks. And our city offers discounts for enrolling more than 1 kid. That might be something to look into and budget, even if it is one morning per week, to get them out to meet other kids and run off energy, and for you to be out with other parents and somebody else in charge for a change.
Also, our city offers courses for adults too, everything from cooking to tai chi and yoga to dancing to languages. All around a hundred bucks a session of 12 weeks or so. Not free, but again, maybe you can budget for one class per session or something.
Do you have friends or family in the area that would be willing to give you some mommy time during the week? Maybe some other moms who would like to participate in sitter sharing - either taking turns watching each others children or all chipping in to get a sitter to watch the kids for a couple hours.
I really don't know any SAHM who doesn't suffer from burn-out. I'm very bad at taking time for myself and have a husband who is certainly capable to watch the girls one evening to give me time for myself. And he's free :-)
It's remarkably difficult to make friends around here. I think it's that small town new person thing.
Also, truth be told, I'm an enormously whiny bitch. Xander's schedule is arranged so that I get two mornings off a week. But if I could just get one more...
I feel this way at least once a week. Fortunately, I have my editing work, one of my girls is at school every day for three hours, and the other is at school three days for three hours. I would not be able to function otherwise. It does suck not to be able to take advantage of such opportunities for financial reasons, and it can indeed be costly. I think Cinnamon had some great suggestions. Maybe once you are able to put down roots somewhere, you'll make connections easier. I would be lost without my fellow mom friends. Oh, and my kids mean the world to me, but the time I most look forward to each day is after they are soundly asleep and I have time to myself and with John! It's a mini recharge!
You should check out the Athens Mothers' Center. Also, I joined the YMCA to be able to get a little stay-at-home momma break and get healthier! The Athens YMCA childcare center is great!
http://athensga.motherscenter.org/Home.html
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=38568656175
The Mothers' Center has a Book Club night once a month and a Moms' Night Out once a month too. It's a great group of moms and kids!
I can't remember all the different links of friends of friends that brought me to your blog but somehow I landed here and I thought I'd share what me and my friends do. I have two friends (so three of us total) and we each of two kids. EVERY single tuesday morning from 10-12, we take turns watching all the children so that the other two moms can do WHATEVER they want, no questions asked. I have taken naps, I have gone grocery shopping, I have cleaned, I have blogged, I have sat on my couch and done nothing, I have showered! Point is...find a couple friends and pick a day and it stinks to have watch the other kids when it's your turn...but when its NOT your turn...it is Heaven on EARTH!
Alcohol, Alana! Lots of it. Oh wait, you're already brewing your own so you've probably already come to this conclusion. How I wish I could come over to sample one of your beers!!!
our local stitch'n'bitch saved my everlovin' life. theLeon treated my tuesday night out as vry srs bidness and made sure that i went every single week. inevitably i would lose my shiznet if i didn't get out. and doing something creative? sealed the deal.
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