I Am Cheap

Unwilling to spend $30 each on baby shoes to keep the twins' toes warm, I decided to make some myself. I found a pattern over on Stardust Shoes and used it to construct these:



I'm still trying to decide how to further secure the skull and crossbones to each shoe and thinking that stitching in the eyes and nose will probably add the extra security I want. (Should have stitched them on first, but I had no idea the shoes would turn out so well when I started and didn't bother.) I used leftover vinyl from my recent upholstering projects, a pair of old jeans that died, and leftover fabric from two yet-to-be revealed sewing projects. So the shoes cost me nothing, and this makes me very happy.

Really, Apple?

I thought maybe I was the only person childish enough to find the name of Apple's new product completely asinine. But no, it turns out other people agree with me. Really, guys? C'mon! Did no one on your staff see this?

Two Great Blogs

I've recently--and I use the term "recently" rather loosely--been introduced to two blogs written by friends. These guys post anonymously, so I won't tell you who they are, but they're welcome to identify themselves if they like.

The first is a project a friend started with his kid in which they make paintings in Tuxpaint and post them online. His kid has been on a big kick with balls and hats for awhile, and it seems he loves birds as well. It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to:

Bird Ball Hat

The second is a project started by another creative friend in which she has vowed to write a haiku a day for an entire year. She also accepts reader submissions. Internomads, I give you:

A Life in 5-7-5

5-7-5's other friends and I have been randomly treated to her haikus for quite sometime, so I am pleased to see they are now being shared with the public. 5-7-5 and I used to have entire conversations in haiku. The start of her blog inspired me to go back and read some of our old haiku exchanges. In my search, I came across the following:

Me:

Two girls passing notes
Now women unsatisfied
With their boring jobs

5-7-5:

We've all had those days
When you get a bad haircut
No one meets your eye

Me:

Copper ain't worth shit
I wait at the post office
For a two cent stamp

5-7-5:

Soon the plumber comes
I hope he can repair the
Flood situation

Me:

Andy is back now
My pb&j is smushd
No one likes Monday

5-7-5:

Just a few more days
And you will be on a plane
To a lovely place

Me:

Like Joyce, Burns, and Keats
My soul will be nourished by
A dram of whiskey

5-7-5:

Prepare for takeoff
Soon you will be soaring through
Periwinkle skies

Let's hope that last is as true today as it was back then.

Speaking of Distractions...

Last weekend, we went sledding with friends Katie and Pete up on Mont Royal. Peter threw down an upright sledding challenge, and my ever-confident husband accepted. This was the result:



I don't think he's quite ready for Vancouver.

Pissy, Passing Time

I have been keeping pretty busy lately. In no particular order, I made a pile of baby pants, reupholstered a curved-back(!) rocking chair, reupholstered two ottomans and gave them film-canister feet, crocheted baby hats, finally finished a blanket I've been working on for months, made two crib liners, made two kimono-style tops with matching pants (one for a friend), and made matching outfits for the twins (not yet photographed). Here is the associated documentation:












You'd think all this busy-ness would keep me fairly well distracted from the waiting and waiting and waiting for a court date, but it doesn't. We keep getting lousy news on that front. Power and internet outages combined with an expansion at our orphanage mean no baby updates and very slow court scheduling. We just found out that the US embassy has lengthened the wait between court and embassy appointments (read: travel), which means that even if we get our court date assigned today, it will probably still be a few months before we go to Ethiopia. MONTHS.

Someone reading this is just about ready to say, "Oh, but when you meet your babies for the first time, you'll forget blah blah blah." But we're moving soon, and if we don't wrap this up pretty quickly we are going to have to re-do our home study and most of the rest of our dossier, which means finding an all-new home study agency among other things. And I'm not even exaggerating. The new place will be much better for the kids, but USCIS doesn't just take your word for it. You have to prove it to them. Yes, if we get a court date soon we should have the kids home before the move, but nothing is guaranteed, and it feels like hoping for the best just leads to disappointment. Every time we think we're getting somewhere, someone says, "Just one more thing," or, "There has been a delay." For so long, we've walked around with our internal monologues begging, "Pleeeaaaaase. Pleeeaaaaaaaase," on a loop. I have no doubt that these kids are worth it--if we didn't believe that we wouldn't be doing this--but I just wish these last stages of the process were handled more efficiently for our sake and theirs. Basically, I feel like I used to feel when I ran the 400m in high school. Somewhere around 300m, I'd always think about quitting. I knew I wouldn't quit, and I knew I'd feel great at the end of the race, but down in that last curve I always thought about giving up. What would happen if I just ran right off the track and went back home?

The stress of these last few stages on top of other obstacles in our life is really starting to get to both of us, even Xander, who used to be perpetually cheerful and optimistic.

During this time, I'm also reminded how lucky we are, relatively speaking, and this provides comfort. Our friends in Montreal have been absolutely wonderful to us while we wait, for which we are immensely grateful. They really seem to "get" what we are going through, and without them this process would have been unbearably lonely. They've thrown us a baby shower, played games with us, invited us to parties, gone to hockey matches with us, gone shopping for baby supplies with us, and lent us distracting books and DVDs. In large part, they have provided that sense of anticipation and excitement that one should have when awaiting the arrival of new family members, something I'm not sure we would have experienced without their support. So as I'm asking for yet one more thing from the world, I also want to express gratitude for what we've already been given. (Thanks, guys.)

Having all of this and wanting more makes me feel like a selfish, whiny bitch. I'm very aware that I'm allowing my wants to get the better of me right now. The path to enlightenment is longer for some of us.

Please, Universe, send us a court date. Soon. Please.

Sometimes I Am Shallow...

Which is why I love this movement.

Adoptions From Haiti

Recently, several people have mentioned interest in adopting from Haiti. I just thought I'd share the following with anyone who is interested. Obviously, we're not experts on Haiti adoptions, but we may be able to answer some "why" questions if anyone wonders what the reasons are behind certain policies. I think this statement from the State Department does a pretty good job of explaining why initiating a new adoption with Haiti is not possible right now. Here's the link:

http://adoption.state.gov/news/children_affected_by_natural_disasters_conflict.html

And here's the statement:

January 22, 2010
Haitian Children and the January 12 Earthquake

The Department of State is receiving inquiries from American citizens deeply touched by the plight of children in Haiti in the aftermath of the January 12 earthquake.

As Secretary of State Clinton said on January 20, “Children are especially vulnerable in any disaster, especially those without parents or other guardians to look after them. This devastating earthquake has left many in need of assistance, and their welfare is of paramount concern as we move forward with our rescue and relief efforts.”

Together with the Department of Homeland Security, the State Department is processing and evacuating as quickly as possible those orphans who were identified for adoption by American citizens before the earthquake.

We understand that other Americans, moved by images of children in need, want to open their homes and adopt other Haitian children who had not been identified for adoption before the earthquake. The State Department advises against this course of action at this time. Intercountry adoption involves strict safeguards and legal requirements that must be met to protect children from illegal adoptions, abduction, sale and child-trafficking as well as to ensure that any adoption is in the best interests of the child.

Before a child can be legally taken to the United States for adoption, the Governments of both the United States and the child’s country of origin must first determine that the child is indeed an orphan. It can be extremely difficult during the aftermath of a natural disaster to ascertain whether children who appear to be orphans truly are eligible for adoption. Children may be temporarily separated from their parents or other family members, and their parents or family members may be looking for them. Moreover, it is not uncommon in an emergency or unsettled situation for parents to send their children out of the area, or for families to become separated during an evacuation. Efforts to reunite such children with relatives or extended family should be given priority.

In addition, some children who had been residing in orphanages before the earthquake were placed there temporarily by parents who could not care for them. In most of these cases the parents did not intend to permanently give up their parental rights. Even when it can be demonstrated that children have indeed lost their parents or have been abandoned, reunification with other relatives in the extended family should be the first option.

During times of crisis, it can also be exceptionally difficult to fulfill the legal requirements for adoption of both the United States and the child's country of origin. This is especially true when civil authority breaks down or temporarily ceases to function. It can also be difficult to gather documents necessary to fulfill the legal requirements of U.S. immigration law.

The United States is cooperating directly with UNICEF and other relief organizations in Haiti to deliver needed supplies to Haiti’s orphanages and to provide assistance to other unaccompanied children. UNICEF is starting the process of registering unaccompanied children and will seek to unite children with relatives.

There are many ways in which U.S. citizens can help the children of Haiti now. For example, individuals who wish to assist can make a financial contribution to a reputable relief or humanitarian organization working in that country.

The Demise of a Gingerbread House

Aversion to Cute

So even though none of my political posts or posts about racism have ever spawned hate mail, I have a feeling this one might. Although only about five people read this thing, right? More than that? Oh, well, here it goes anyway...

I think I have an abnormal aversion to things that most people find cute or sweet. I mean, I love puppies and kittens just like anybody, but I'm not easily sucked into cat videos on YouTube. I'm not gushy over babies that I don't have a relationship to, and even those I don't so much coo over as high five. Movies about people's pets and many, many Disney films don't appeal to me at all. I just...don't...well, I don't think I possess whatever gene would cause most exhibitions of cuteness to be appealing. Or at least mine is dysfunctional. I've learned to fake it when necessary, but it's challenging.

I never really thought about it before, but if there's one thing that will highlight your inadequate response to cuteness, it's preparing for the arrival of a baby. Stuff gets crazy cutesie when there's a baby on the way. (Or babies in this case.) And this is where I confess how rotten my soul really is. I generally don't find baby clothes to be cute. I know! What is wrong with me?! My biggest challenge seems to be baby headbands and other items used to decorate the heads of babes. Hats are okay if they have some practical use. But stuff with lace and flowers and bows? Ick. Dislike. Onesies with little tiny animals? Nope. Pastels? Gross. Baby booties? No, they don't do it for me, either. And yet I dislike the plain onesie and sweatpants approach to dressing a baby, too. Really, why can't more baby clothes be stylish without being cutesie or pretentious? Why can't we just dress babies more like regular people? Small, regular people.

As a result of my pickiness, I'm finding it really hard to come up with stuff to dress my kids. It makes me wish I were a better seamstress so I could make more of their clothes. I should work on that.

There is one thing that does seem to trigger the cuteness response in me, though, and this makes me optimistic that I can be rehabilitated or at least learn to cope with my handicap. I am a sucker for footie pajamas. I mean, seriously, I cannot think of anything more adorable than a baby in footie pajamas. We have several such pjs, and I'm thinking maybe I'll just dress the kids in those when I get sick of the other stuff. I can just hear it now. "There's that woman who always dresses her kids in footie pajamas again. Doesn't she know those are for bedtime?" To which her friend replies, "Oh, we shouldn't judge her. I think she might be homeless."

You know what else triggers my cuteness response? MY babies. I'm sure all of this stuff will seem much cuter to me with them in it.

Looking for a few more songs to celebrate? Check out this link from NPR.

This Is Just to Say...

That our babies are so beautiful. I mean just beautiful. I love them. I wish they were here.

It has been 5 weeks. No news. No update. Sigh...

I hate this part.

In Support of Friendliness and Enthusiasm

Last week, the New York Times reported that stores like Wal-Mart and H&M have been destroying unworn clothing rather than donating the clothing to charities. A day later, the companies vowed to change their ways, all thanks to complaints initiated by a single person. I love stories like this, because they remind me that individual people can make a difference in their communities. They also remind me why I loved living in New York. Sure, people have their differences, but largely the city--or at least neighborhoods within the city--operate as a collective body. People generally look out for each other. There are a lot of folks there looking for ways to make a difference, and some of them really do.

Back in October, I went down to visit my cousin Anna and play with her kids. When I left her house, I was going to have brunch with my friends Matt and Sarah before heading uptown. The route I chose to get to their place involved an out-of-system subway transfer. It was the worst transfer ever. It involved lugging my heavy suitcase up and down and up and down and up many, many giant flights of stairs. I was on my way up the last enormous staircase, which was probably about three stories high (seriously), when the train pulled into the station. A couple of men that had passed me on their way up the stairs came running back. One man grabbed my suitcase and my arm, which startled me because, well, I was in Brooklyn. The other ran to the train and stood in the doorway to prevent the doors from closing. They got my suitcase on, me in, and all just because it was the nice thing to do. We didn't even speak the same language. It totally made my day.

I can't imagine anyone doing anything like that here. People help out their friends and neighbors, but a stranger would as soon spit on you as smile. I asked my 8-months-pregnant friend if anyone has ever gotten up for her on the metro in Montreal, and she said not a single time. And if you use a cane to walk? Forget about it. Able-bodied people will push your slow ass over on their way to an empty seat. I've been told more than once that some people here find Americans absurdly friendly and overly enthusiastic. But really, what's so bad about being friendly and enthusiastic? There's a lot wrong with my country for sure, but I wouldn't list friendliness and enthusiasm among its biggest faults.

Anyway, just as I start to think no one gives a damn about anyone anymore, someone gets outraged over corporate waste and does something about it. Did they change the world? No, of course not. In all likelihood all of the other H&Ms and Wal-Marts will continue to throw out unworn clothing and exploit workers and create all sorts of waste. But there will be a few more items in charity clothes closets this winter thanks to the actions of an overly enthusiastic American, and that brightens my day.

Speaking of changing the world, there are many different charities accepting donations to support work in Haiti. This is just one of them. Consider making a small donation. Or a big one, if you can.

Mesquite, Texas School Board FAIL

In case you haven't heard this story, yet, a male student was recently suspended from a school in Texas for having long hair. The school board voted unanimously to suspend the child. Then they later said they would reverse their decision if the boy wore his hair in braids. God knows why that seems like a good compromise to them. If you ask me, it's the school that's causing the distraction, not the boy. They're just passing along their prejudices to a bunch of young, impressionable people. It's appalling. I saw a photo of the kid with his hair down, and he was pretty cute. You can read more about what happened here.

I emailed the school board. You can do the same here.

Dear Mesquite School Board,

I am absolutely appalled at your decision to suspend Taylor Pugh from class for having long hair. Things like this will only continue to be a "distraction" in the classroom as long as adults make it so. You are setting a terrible example for the students in your school system that being different is wrong. You are failing to teach them to accept and learn from each other's differences. Whether you realize it or not, you are teaching students that they should uphold your own prejudices.

The decision you made and the feeble compromise you offered in no way benefit Taylor or the other students. I hope you will put aside your pride and personal prejudices and reconsider the effects of your decision.

Thank you for your time.

Alana Cole-Faber

New Year's Eve

**UPDATED**

So there are many posts I've meant to do and haven't. Something about checking my email every five minutes and emailing Xander to see if he's heard from our agency keeps me from doing pretty much anything else. Luckily I did remember to eat lunch yesterday, so that's good.

Anyway, friend Katie wrote a nice post about our New Year's Eve experience, so you should check that out for a detailed account and photographs. We decided to go out this year, since we figured it might be our last chance to go out alone on New Year's Eve for awhile. We spent the countdown in the Old Town on a balmy 20-degree night. (No, really. This time last year it was much, much colder.) The streets were decorated with garland and lights, and tiny snowflakes fell gently from the sky on the already snow-dusted cobblestone streets. A band played Quebecois folk music. We watched fireworks over the river. It was really quite charming and memorable. And the hassle of getting home after midnight actually contributed to the memory rather than simply pissing us off, as I'm sure it easily could have. We returned home feeling tired, but remarkably content and optimistic about the new year.

And speaking of optimistic, internet pal Debbie just passed court in Ethiopia. Maybe we'll get news about our date soon. Like this week. Today even.

**Ack! I totally forgot Debbie's blog is private. Sorry, folks. But trust me. The kid is CUTE. And good news is always welcome around here!**

Avatar

Xander and I went to see Avatar last week. Aside from it being at least 20 minutes too long, I had a good time. Sure, the characters were a bit shallow and annoying, but the digital fantasyland was entertaining, especially in 3D. I enjoyed the glowing little creatures and foliage, and I almost always like movies with monsters in them.

There was something about Avatar that rubbed me the wrong way, though, and I couldn't quite articulate what it was. Xander and I talked about it as we walked down the street to the metro, but we kind of fumbled over our words. He told me one of his students had said that when he saw it, he felt like he was "watching Pocahontas II." "Oh!" I exclaimed, "I think I know what he means!" (It turns out other people agree.) Still, I wasn't able to quite get it out. There was something about the movie that was, well, offensive. I could tell the film was appealing to long-held stereotypes, and I knew I'd seen this plot somewhere before. A few days later, Xander sent me this review by David Brooks, and it all came together.

I'm not sure it would have taken much creativity to alter this well-worn plot line. For example, why did Cameron feel like he needed the white dude at all? Why not tell the story from the perspective of the Na'vi? Why didn't he let the Na'vi reject Jake Sully's leadership? Why did he feel the need to allow Jake Sully to redeem himself? If he didn't realize he was re-using an old, condescending plot, then I think I've lost respect for him for being undereducated in his field. If he did realize he was re-using an old, condescending plot but did so anyway, I think I've lost respect for him for being so willing to uphold racist stereotypes. Either way, a movie that could have been really wonderful ended up being a disappointment. Sure, it was entertaining, but I know I'm going to be a little annoyed when the awards start rolling in.

Therapy Session

I'm not the biggest fan of posting a bunch of negative complain-y crap on the blog. You've got your own problems, right? Why would you want to read about mine? Also, any time I feel frustrated with life, I immediately feel guilty, because at least I have a decent place to live and food and clothes and a supportive husband. But here are a few things that made my week kinda lousy:

1) My neck hurts. This is a recurring problem, and I've been warned that I should be doing exercises to stretch and strengthen my neck. But did I do them? No. So for over a week off and on I haven't been able to turn my head to the right or look up. By dinner, my entire back hurts and I feel so exhausted from the pain that it's hard to hold my head up. It had gotten almost completely better, then I decided to reupholster a rocking chair in vinyl--stupid--and ended up back at square one. This is an old person injury, and I am not some old person, dammit! Still, it's slowly getting better. Very, very, veeeeerrrrrry slowly.

2) We found out we will not be getting the December updates from the orphanage. It sounds like we shouldn't get our hopes up about updates in January, either. No pictures, no medical info, no reassurance that our tiny little girl is putting on weight. This blows. Really, really. Also, a month and still no court date, but at least we were prepared for that possibility.

3) We just found out Julius has diabetes. The vet is doing another test to confirm and be absolutely sure before we start treatment. Not good news. We are desperately hoping the test reveals this is a recent development, because then maybe we have hope of being able to control it with diet. Even if he does need injections, he should still have a perfectly happy and long life. But what are we going to do if it turns out he needs a heavily regulated feeding and insulin injection schedule? This is going to be really tough to deal with, especially given that we will (we hope) be away for a few weeks this spring. Plus I just hate the thought that our sweet orange cat has been sick and that maybe we could have prevented this. Sigh...

And now I list good things to make myself feel better:

1) I have a cute little Luna curled up on my chest while I type.

2) Julius is happily smacking away on the back of the couch as he cleans his paws. He eats with his paws, so they always require cleaning after breakfast.

3) The high tomorrow is 7F. I know, I know. You're thinking that one should have gone on the first list. But the high was originally supposed to be 0F, so 7F is a significant improvement. (I have a policy this winter that I am not allowed to complain about any highs in the positive digits.)

4) I finished making hats for Dinke and Dinka, which brought me some comfort. Pictures soon.

5) Tonight we are going out for belated "bière et poutine de naissance" in honor of Xander. Beer and poutine always make me happy.

6) Tomorrow night we are going to watch a hockey match with a bunch of friends. Watching other people beat the shit out of each other on the ice brings me great joy. I think Canada is rubbing off on me.

So see? There are more good things than bad things. But those bad things sure do suck.

As Seen On TV!

Xander and his sister were recently musing upon the virtues, if there are any, of products like the Snuggie and ShamWow. I suggested someone ought to combine the two and make a Snuggie out of ShamWow material. Then you could stay warm AND clean up messes at the same time. But someone already thought of that. It would also make great workout gear. And wouldn't something like that just be perfect for a baby? Hmmm. This might just be the perfect get-rich-quick scheme.

Anyway, if you're looking for other completely ridiculous ways to spend money, have I got a website for you! Want to look fashionable while keeping your legs warm on the couch? There's a product for that! Want to hug your friend without getting cold? Then the hug jacket is just for you! Want to wear sweatpants that have weird holes on the side so your friends can reach in and feel your legs? I thought you might. There's a product for that, too!

Here's to the most efficient year ever!

The Sweetest Thing Ever

I've told a few people this, but generally I keep forgetting to mention it. Everyone knows we got a photo of the twins with our referral and have been staring at their noses, cheeks, eyes, fingers, chins--their chins just kill me with their cuteness--and whatnot for almost a month now. But what I didn't tell you is that the twins get a photo of us as well. As part of the process, we are required to send a laminated (for hygiene, meaning to make it impermeable to baby drool) photograph to our agency, who then sends it to the orphanage. We did this weeks ago. So every day, the twins' caregiver sits down with them, tells them about their mum and dad in Canada, and shows them this:


Doesn't that thought just melt your heart? No? What are you?! Some kind of robot?!

I forgot all about this until the other day when Xander reminded me. And I have to admit, realizing that each day our babies are putting that laminated photograph in their mouths and gumming on it provided a small degree of comfort. It's nice to know that, even though they don't really understand what is happening, someone is trying to prepare them for this big change in their lives just as we are being prepared here.

And then Xander started singing "Somewhere Out There," and I vomited on my shoes from all the sugar.

Things That Didn't Suck in 2009 and My 2010 To-Do List (revised)

I think once you reach a Certain Age, it's kind of natural to want to look back over the previous year, make mental notes of what was good about it, and then think about what you want to do in the new one. I spent a lot of time in 2009 feeling frustrated because I wasn't doing what I wanted to do, but looking back, I really had an amazing year. There were many things I enjoyed in 2009. I decided to make a list in order to cheer myself up:

1. Saw lava. Lava is hot.

2. Worked on two particularly interesting projects at the library, one of which resulted in a PBS documentary about Lincoln, and the other of which resulted in a book on landscape architecture in Canada. Nifty.

3. Climbed the 1200-ft Angel's Landing in Zion National Park.

4. Drove a Prius down an unpaved and partly washed out scary desert road for hours to hike slot canyons, nearly getting stuck in the sand on the way, then got lost hiking in the desert for a little while.

5. Completed adoption paperwork. Awesome.

6. Became "Buddha parents" to Cora, who is also awesome.

7. Had a few photos published in various places on the Internets and had work shown in a couple of exhibitions.

8. Almost died--or, okay, became severely injured--in the ocean, but was rescued by my most excellent husband. (Yes, I know I need to write up that story. Soon.)

9. Learned to use a proper sewing machine. Made stuff.

10. Canned and froze a ton of vegetables for the winter, which we are enjoying now. Yum.

11. Learned to make yogurt. Also yum.

12. Started making all of our bread. Double yum.

13. Reupholstered our loveseat.

14. Crocheted many things.

15. Received a referal for twins. TWINS! (Just so you know, anytime I think or say the word "twins," it's always followed up immediately afterward with "TWINS!")

And last but certainly not least:

16. I found out Anna is my cousin! COUSIN!

Naturally, I must follow this up with things I'd like to do in 2010, some of which I want to get out of the way soon:

1. Become a parent of twins. Cute ones.

2. Travel to Ethiopia and see baboons and churches. Oh, and my babies.

3. Reupholster a rocking chair. (Today, I hope.)

4. Complete a new photography project with film--yeah, that old stuff people used to put in cameras--and enter new work in at least three exhibitions.

5. Learn to care for those twins I mentioned without killing myself, my husband, or them.

6. Either start a professional-type website or at the very least update my Flickr account.

7. Find a museum or historical society for which to do some collections work.

8. Make some clothes for the kiddos.

9. Learn to make cheese.

10. Learn to make beer.

Add to that some immigration hassles to deal with and an international move, and I think that's plenty for someone with new babies.

What's on your list for 2010?