No "Ma'am"

These days it seems as though the good residents of Internetland are reading my mind. A few days ago, I wandered over to Dooce and came across this. I can tell you we've gone round and round on that one. How do we want our children to address people? This is no easy question for someone who was born in the South and lived most of her adult life in the North. (Yes, there are differences.) And who knows where we'll be going next?

I think we basically have come to the same conclusion: that we'll be teaching our children to call people what they wish to be called. To start out with Mr. and Ms.--we don't do Mrs. in this house--until asked to use some other name. To convey respect in the tone of their voices and the calmness of their demeanor. (That "calm" thing will not be taught by me, obviously, but by their father.) We feel like it can't hurt to err on the side of politeness. That said, "ma'am" and "sir" can sound snarky to people who aren't familiar and comfortable with those forms of address. Even though I grew up in the South, it catches me off guard anytime I'm addressed as "ma'am." Who you callin' ma'am, SIR?

Anyway, all this to say that I'm glad I'm not the only person who struggles with choosing which bits of etiquette to teach my children. When you have lived in one geographic area for your entire life, it's natural to just adopt the customs that you are familiar with. But for those of us who are known migrants, it's a bit more challenging. For instance, when we move back to the South, I'll have to remember not to go around kissing everyone.



Ah, but this reminds me of one of the many American customs that I do miss very much: the hug. Something to look forward to.