Clarifying the Confusing Details

We've been getting a bunch of questions about our adoption along the lines of "What happens next?" I thought maybe I should try to clarify.

Right now we are waiting to be assigned a court date. Our court date could be assigned tomorrow. It could be assigned two months from now. We have no idea when they will tell us what our court date is. Before they can assign a date, our children's dossier must be prepared, and they must be given a few more medical tests. This can take weeks.

Once we are assigned a court date, we just sit back and wait for that date to arrive. Our court date could be anywhere from about 2 to 6 weeks AFTER the date is assigned to us. In other words, maybe we'll pass court in a month. Or maybe we'll pass court in three months. Again, we don't know.

What happens in court? Well, the judge has to review our file and our children's file and approve the match. The court hearing also gives birth family members an opportunity to come forward if they would like to parent the children. This is extremely important for reasons that we hope are obvious. Sometimes families pass court the first time. Sometimes they don't. Actually, rather often they don't. We are not expecting to pass court the first time around.

Once we pass court, we could travel anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks after that. Many families seem to go around a month or so after they pass court.

So to sum up, maybe we'll be really lucky and get to travel in February. Maybe we'll be less lucky and get to travel in April.

In case you were wondering, this part is much, much worse than waiting for our referral. Once you've seen your kids' faces, you are done for. I go back and forth from feeling really excited to really depressed. Sometimes I feel like staring at their faces all day. Yesterday I couldn't look at their pictures at all. Staying busy only kind of works. I've always been good at doing one thing while thinking about something else entirely, which is not working to my advantage in this case.

Luckily, our friends Katie and Pete let us borrow their DVDs of Arrested Development. So far this is the only known treatment for the waiting-for-my-court-date blues. Thanks, guys.