On Living in the Middle of the Pacific Ocean

We've been here for about seven months now. I've moved a lot, and I'd say somewhere around six months is usually the turning point for most people in a new place. It's the point when the new place starts to feel like home. You've usually made some friends by then, and you know where to get all of the stuff that you need. Maybe you don't remember the names of all of your political representatives, but you can at least find city hall and a bank or two.

We have lots of friends here. Our kids have so many friends who were adopted that I don't think they yet realize adoption is not the typical way to form a family. I volunteer at a local museum. While we don't have a lot of money to go out, we meet people at the beach or zoo or playground every week. We even have an Episcopal cathedral here, so we can continue our Sunday evensong tradition. We're about a ten-minute walk to the beach, and we go to the beach park at least once a week to have a picnic and watch the sun fall into the ocean. Our kids can already swim without the aid of parents or flotation devices, albeit not very far. We have access to all the pineapple a person could ever want. And when we go camping here, we have the choice of places like this or this or this. Hawaii is beautiful, and we are so, so lucky to live here.

But--of course there's a but--it's not home. It's just not. And we're both feeling it, I'm afraid. This is a surprise, because normally as long as Xander has math, he's at home anywhere. The people we meet here who are most happy are usually from California, or sometimes Oregon. But from our conversations with others, it seems we East Coasters have the hardest time adjusting to life in the middle of the Pacific. We know we shouldn't complain about living in paradise, so we try very hard to keep our feelings under wraps. We smile broadly and say, "Isn't this just wonderful?" Then later, we have hushed conversations that begin with, "Doesn't it just kill you that there's no fall here?" And, "I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss snow." But it's also more than just the weather. Things are just slower here, and nothing drives an East Coaster more insane than having to wait. One of our kama'aina friends describes it as "a do-nothing culture." It's a fantastic thing when you want to leave work early on Aloha Friday, but it's not so great when, say, waiting for a certain university to process your moving expenses reimbursement. "Relax," everyone says, "You're in Hawaii!" Easier said than done, I'm afraid.

And island fever? It's real. People are frequently horrified that we live here without a car, but, I mean, really? Even if we wanted to take a road trip, you can't drive for more than about an hour without running into the ocean. We can't afford to fly home this year, which means we really are stuck here. STUCK. And while that might sound like heaven to many people, it doesn't so much feel like it when your kids are missing out on time with grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

Oh yeah. It's also really expensive. Really expensive. We didn't think we'd be affected by that as much given that we once lived in Manhattan on, like, $5 a year or something, but so far we haven't figured out how to make it work here. At this rate, our kids are going to need to get part-time jobs if they want to keep themselves in animal crackers.

Breaking in as an outsider here is rough. It's easy to meet people, but hard to make real friends. It's even harder to make meaningful professional connections. It took me ten months to find a job. Then when I finally got a job, the salary was so low that we literally couldn't afford for me to accept it. We would actually lose money if I went back to work. Damn.

Also? People don't swear here as much as they do back east. I mean, what the fuck is up with that?

Anyway, this is easily the most difficult transition we've ever had to make. We really do like it here. The quality of life very easily overcomes little things like missing snow. The evenings and weekends feel a lot like vacation. The food is unbelievably delicious. And there really is nothing quite like a Hawaii sunset. We just need a wealthy benefactor, and we'll be all set. Still, those of you who casually remark on how you'd love to live in Hawaii should be careful what you wish for. Living in paradise is a lot more work than you think it is.

Toe Hang

Yessir, those are my feet. This trick needs some work, but I'm still pretty damn happy to check this off my bucket list. BAM!

My First Crush Is Dead

That's right. My very first crush was Davy Jones, and now he's dead. I know. I'm too young for that. But you see, my parents failed to mention that the Monkees episodes I watched on television were reruns, a fact I discovered much, much later. I feel old and sad.

Comments on Manhattan Murder Mystery

Xander: I want to see Memento remade with Woody Allen. "Ya-ya-ya see, ya see, I've got this condition..."

Me: "What was I doing? Oh yeah. I was whining about this guy..."

Support Museums!

It's Museums Advocacy Day! Support your local museums, and go to speakupformuseums.org to encourage your government to do the same!

The 2012 Movie List

Awhile back, I wrote a post in which I asked for suggestions on films to watch in 2012. When we went through the suggestions (here and on That Social Networking Site), we decided to only select movies we had never seen or had not seen in at least ten years. With those rules in mind, we made our final list. Here it is:

1. Withnail and I
2. All About Eve
3. Birth of a Nation
4. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
5. Dr. Zhivago
6. Highlander
7. The Taking of Pelham 123 (original)
8. The Vanishing (whichever one we can find...)
9. Mayor Cupcake
10. Outsourced
11. Lust/Caution
12. The Stoning of Soraya M.
13. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (original)
14. Humpday
15. Dead Man
16. Enter the Void
17. Howl's Moving Castle
18. Midnight Cowboy
19. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
20. Dirty Harry
21. The Kite Runner
22. The Stand
23. Secretariat
24. Manhattan Murder Mystery

I'm happy to report that it's late February, and we've already watched...one. One movie. (The Taking of Pelham 123) We've got some work to do.